i feel violated...left raw and open to the world and frankly i would be lying if i said i feel completely safe in my own home. for the first time, in almost a year since we moved into the new house, i have felt a cold fear radiating from the base of my spine. this is new to me, this rawness..this absolute terror... not for myself, but the ones i hold so dear to me, those who live and sleep in my house, especially the ones on the lower levels of our home.
at around 1:57 am today, as i was blissfully reading the new posts on PingMag, Wired and randomly rereading my favorite stories spun from the overtly creative mind of Maliha from 'Lightness of Being...' (its a marvelous read, the stories that are written are amazing, so poignant...my favorite is the one titled 'blindness and beauty'), i was jarred by a very loud shattering of glass. immediately my first reaction was that the chandelier in the living room fell down (we have a few chandeliers in the house...my mom is so into the new romantic, classical or as she says 'traditional' look of chandeliers..there's even one in the master bathroom...over a jacuzzi that is never used).
the 'rents were of course zonked out in front of the T.V. they love those Indian channels..so much so, we as the 'kids' are no longer in control of the television programming in the house...its weird that they revert to child like behavior, and we as the children have in all honesty stopped watching television...(youtube anyone?). i went around the whole house checking the chandeliers, the mirrors in the bathrooms and all the windows in the basement...everything checked out.
it seems someone has hurled a rock at our large bay window, thus in effect shattering our main window in the living room. alhamdulillah, by the blessings of Al Muhaymin, no one was hurt or worse... this is frightening, as the window faces the main street, and my Ja'ddi (grandma) sleeps in the adjoining room. her room has two windows that face the same street...
i pray for protection, from the unseen and the unknown...for only my Lord and Creator knows best. i pray for the protection of the people in my house, for my loving grandmother who cried and held my hand as i described my experiences of Umr'ah; for my father who works two jobs, imparts well thought out advise and never lets us go wanting for anything; for my mother...my exact original, we are cut from the same cloth..her and i; for my brother, my un-twin twin...my best friend and my worst critic; and for my youngest sister, my baby...who i would kill for. ya Allah, oh creator of the creature, both seen and unseen...protect those who i hold close to my heart, and in turn...protect those who hold you more dear than themselves or any of your creations.
ameen
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